Relationships are like magnets. Magnets have an incredible force that can pull them together, but they also have a way to push the other one away. Often in relationships (of all kinds), we find our magnets are flipped and we are pushing away. The more that one person tries to pursue the other person (this may look like controlling, clingy, smothering), the more it drives the other person away (not the intended outcome). Furthermore, when one side finds that they are withdrawing, they feel others checking in on them to see if they’re okay, but they withdraw even more.
If this is happening to you, see if you can flip one of the magnets around in order to draw near in that relationship. If you find that you can’t flip it around, talk to someone. Share your concern with the other person, trusted friend or a counselor. Don’t live life in a push-pull relationship. It doesn’t feel good and it often hurts deeply.
Amy Orlovich is in private practice as a counselor in Boise, ID with Waters Gone By counseling. Please call 208-968-7153 to set up an appointment or visit www.watersgoneby.com